If you’ve committed to personal growth, eventually you’re going to need forgiveness.
People struggle with forgiveness.
Thinking that forgiveness lets the other person off the hook.
Or that their anger protects them and without it they’re at risk.
Actually, forgiveness lets you off the hook.
Forgiveness isn’t saying that what they did was ok.
Nor is it forgetting.
And it definitely isn’t putting yourself in harm’s way again.
Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger and feelings of revenge.
That anger and resentment is in your system. Not the person who wronged you.
Holding on to hurt hobbles us emotionally and cognitively. It takes up space in the hard drive. It steals our focus.
Forgiveness is deciding not to carry the hurt around anymore.
It propels you forward rather than staying emotionally stuck in an injustice or trauma.
Forgiveness has strong psychological benefits.
It’s been shown to elevate mood and boost self-esteem and optimism. It can decrease anger, stress, anxiety, and depression and increase your sense of inner strength and safety.
But it’s not always easy. Start with connecting to your pain, which you may have buried, partially or completely. It’s an essential first step before trying to forgive.
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