Recently I was speaking with a CEO about how he wanted to grow as a leader.
He wanted to grow his listening skills. Become a mindful and active listener who made people feel heard and validated.
A great skill, indeed.
But here’s the thing. He’s looking at it as a skill to be learned from the outside in.
Certainly, there are many things to learn to improve your listening skills.
Yet, the best way to become a good listener is to deepen the listening to yourself.
After all, how can you extend good listening to others if you haven’t first done it for yourself?
The more you learn to listen to yourself, really listen in a respectful and accepting way, the more you create a calm and centered place within.
As you grow that calm place within, you’ll be able to listen more effectively.
You’ll exude a sense of calm that will foster calm and clear thinking for others.
It’s the difference between mentally learning a skill and real learning. Between doing and becoming.
Communicating from that place of inner calm will help defuse anxiety that other team members may feel. It will strengthen human connection and relatedness.
But it starts with you and your relationship to yourself.
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